The Emotional Toll of Being Transgender in an Unaffirming World
For transgender individuals, the world is not always affirming. Some trans people do have supportive family and friends, work with inclusive employers, and live in areas where they have strong legal protections. But many do not. Furthermore, even if you have an affirming environment around you, prejudice against trans people is rampant in wider society.
It’s not easy to foster close friendships, maintain family relationships, and pursue your personal and professional goals when you’re trying to cope with an unaffirming world. In fact, sometimes it can feel like you’re always taking one step and two steps back. Here’s why dealing with these challenges can take a serious emotional toll.
Lack of Social Acceptance
No matter how confident someone is, we all need a baseline level of respect and validation from the people around us. Nobody wants to have their identity or values constantly questioned or critiqued. Being singled out in social settings is hurtful. After all, we’re social animals. Human beings naturally want to be loved and accepted for who they truly are. If you’re trans, connecting with people who genuinely understand you can be a long journey. Dealing with the lack of social acceptance can be deeply isolating.
Struggles to Find Work
For trans people, job hunting can be particularly difficult. You may be nervous about showing up to interviews, requesting your preferred pronouns, or meeting your new coworkers, wondering if they will react poorly to your identity.
If you’ve ever had trouble landing a job because you were openly trans, you might worry that you’re falling behind your peers, or you may be concerned that you won’t get the mentorship and support you need to move ahead. Alternatively, you may be worried about your coworkers finding out that you’re transgender and avoid getting closer with them as a result.
Getting Comfortable With Self-Advocacy
When society tells you that there is something “wrong” with you, it’s hard to foster true self-love. You may have a low sense of your self-worth because of comments that other people have made about your identity. You don’t know if you deserve to stand up for yourself, or if you actually “deserve” better treatment. People can internalize societal prejudices, even those that apply to them as individuals. This is one insidious way that discrimination can harm your mental health.
Safety Concerns
It’s hard to navigate the world when you’re concerned about your personal safety. Trans people face very real threats to their physical safety. This can affect your decisions about where you live, who you socialize with, who you’re comfortable dating, and more. You may not feel confident about traveling or meeting up with relatives who reside in areas that aren't particularly affirming. It’s understandable to feel resentful about the safety pressures that trans people have to face.
Finding the Right Healthcare
Whether you want to explore your gender identity in therapy, seek healthcare for your transition, or talk to a doctor about healthcare concerns that are unrelated to transition, it can be tough to find trustworthy providers for mental or physical health issues. You might have tried to find an affirming therapist, only to be let down when you opened up about your gender. Perhaps you live in an area where healthcare providers are very limited. You keep having to delay the next steps in your transition due to your lack of options. Despite your patience, you might feel stuck and frustrated by these obstacles.
–
If you’re struggling with prejudice due to your gender identity, or you’re hesitant to come out as trans because of potential discrimination, we encourage you to contact our practice to learn more about our gender affirming therapy services.