For Relationships
Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships
Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological abuse in which a narcissistic person systematically demeans and controls their romantic partner. A key feature of narcissism is a lack of empathy, or ability to understand and respond compassionately to others. Narcissists believe they are special, require excessive admiration, and have an inflated sense of self-importance. They often do not comprehend or care about how their behaviors effect their intimate partners. While the relationship may start out very positive and even idealized, the interaction gradually deteriorates as the narcissistic partner becomes more and more demanding, and the abused partner feels more and more discounted or belittled. If you feel this way in your current relationship, or a past relationship, it can take some time and support from a therapist to unpack what has happened.
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse takes many forms in intimate relationships. Narcissists tend to dominate conversations, demand partners think highly of them, react with rage and contempt when criticized, and lack interest in understanding their partners' feelings or needs. They act entitled and believe they deserve special treatment like constant praise and admiration from their partners. They often insult, demean, intimidate, and shame their partners routinely. Sometimes they are controlling, unfaithful, deceitful, or exploitative. And when they get caught, they blame their partner for their own misdeeds.
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One common abusive tactic narcissists use involves gaslighting, where they attempt to distort their partner's reality by denying facts, events or conversations. They may accuse partners of being "too sensitive," imagining things, or lying when they confront the narcissist about hurtful behavior. This form of doubt-inducing manipulation creates confusion and anxiety for the victim, and also serves to disempower them.
Partners of narcissists may gradually lose their self-worth, confidence, and sense of purpose in the relationship. They may start avoiding engaging with the narcissist out of fear of inciting anger or humiliation. Some may develop trauma symptoms like anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. At Newark Behavioral Health, we have therapists who can help you to sort through these patterns and help you to determine if you were impacted by a narcissistic relationship.
Narcissistic abuse rarely improves on its own, as narcissists lack the self-awareness and empathy required for change. Partners of narcissists should seek individual counseling, join support groups, and consider leaving the relationship for their own well-being. With help, survivors can heal and regain their self-esteem after detachment from the abusive relationship.
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