What Is IFS Therapy and How Does It Work?
Have you ever felt torn between different parts of yourself? Maybe there's a harsh inner critic pushing you toward perfection while another part just wants to rest. Or perhaps you notice a protective voice that keeps you from getting too close to others, even when you crave connection. These aren’t signs of confusion or weakness. They’re natural aspects of how your mind works.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps people understand and heal these inner parts. This approach is based on the idea that our minds operate like a family system, with different sub-personalities or “parts” that interact with one another. The goal is to help you access your Self, which is the calm, compassionate core of who you are, so all your parts can function together in harmony. Let’s dive deeper into how IFS works.
The Core Principles of IFS Therapy
At the heart of IFS is the belief that everyone has a Self. This is your central, balanced core. It’s the part of you that remains calm, confident, and compassionate even during difficult times. When you’re in Self-energy, you embody what IFS calls the 8 Cs: Curiosity, Calm, Clarity, Connectedness, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, and Compassion. You also express the 5 Ps: Presence, Persistence, Perspective, Playfulness, and Patience.
Surrounding your Self are your parts. These are internal sub-personalities with their own perspectives, emotions, and protective strategies. IFS takes a non-pathologizing view of the mind, seeing symptoms as protective responses rather than flaws. Each part plays a role in keeping you safe, even when its methods cause distress.
The Three Main Types of Parts
IFS identifies three main types of parts that shape your internal system.
Managers are protective, controlling parts that maintain daily stability. They might show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, or a need for structure. Managers work to prevent emotional pain from surfacing, often by keeping you busy or overly focused on achievement.
Firefighters are reactive parts that spring into action when pain breaks through. They try to extinguish distress quickly, sometimes through impulsive behaviors such as overeating or overworking.
Exiles are the wounded, vulnerable parts that carry shame, fear, and trauma. Managers and firefighters often “lock away” these parts because their pain feels overwhelming. Exiles hold emotional burdens from past experiences that still need healing.
In IFS therapy, you learn to balance and heal these parts by allowing each one to feel seen, understood, and valued.
How IFS Therapy Works in Practice
This form of therapy uses a structured approach called the “6 Fs” to guide your work with different parts:
Find: Identify the part that needs attention.
Focus: Give that part your full awareness.
Flesh Out: Describe how it feels and looks.
Feel Toward: Notice your emotions toward that part.
Befriend: Build a relationship of curiosity and compassion.
Fear: Ask what the part fears or needs.
Your therapist may use visualization exercises, journaling, or relaxation techniques to help you explore relationships between your parts. Through a process called unburdening, you can help wounded parts release old pain and take on healthier roles.
What IFS Can Help with
IFS can address many challenges, including trauma and PTSD, anxiety, depression, phobias, panic, substance use, and relationship difficulties. This approach also helps with stress-related physical pain, but it may not be suitable for clients experiencing severe psychosis or paranoia.
The Benefits and Goals of IFS
In the short term, IFS helps you access Self-energy and build trust with your protective parts. Over time, healing wounded parts through unburdening leads to greater balance, compassion, and resilience. Over time, you can find relief from anxiety, improved relationships, deeper self-understanding, and an enduring sense of wholeness and peace.
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If you’re curious about exploring your internal family systems, we’d love to help you begin this journey. Reach out to learn more about IFS therapy and how it can support your healing process.