Why Grief Feels Harder During the Holidays—And How to Cope

If you've lost someone you love, the holiday season can feel overwhelming. While the world around you fills with celebration and joy, you might be struggling with profound sadness and longing. This contrast between what you're experiencing internally and what's happening externally can make grief feel even more intense during this time of year.

We want you to know that struggling during the holidays is a completely normal response to loss. Grief doesn't follow a timeline, and the holidays often bring these feelings to the surface in ways that can feel unexpected and powerful. Let’s explore how to navigate the holidays when you’re carrying grief.

Why the Holidays Amplify Grief

Holidays are deeply connected to memory, tradition, and togetherness. Whether it's a favorite recipe, a familiar song, a shared tradition, or the way your family gathered around the table, these rituals carry emotional weight. When someone you love is no longer there to share these moments, their absence becomes impossible to ignore.

Holiday sights, sounds, and smells often trigger intense feelings of loss. Baking cookies or hearing familiar music can transport you back to memories that now carry both warmth and pain. You may feel surrounded by people yet deeply alone, especially when others seem focused on celebration while you quietly grieve.

Anticipatory Grief and the Fear of Firsts

For many people, the anticipation of the holidays feels heavier than the day itself. In the weeks leading up to important dates, anxiety and dread can steadily build. This experience, known as anticipatory grief, plays a natural role in mourning.

First holidays without your loved one carry particular emotional weight. The first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or New Year’s Eve can feel daunting. Dread, anxiety, and sadness often exist at the same time. These emotions can overlap without canceling each other out.

Grief Is Personal, and Families Grieve Differently

One of the hardest parts of holiday grief is recognizing that family members often process loss in different ways. What comforts one person may overwhelm another. Some may want to preserve traditions, while others need to rework or release them to get through the season.

These differences can create tension when expectations collide. Children especially need consistency and honest conversations. Clear plans, reassurance, and emotional validation help them feel secure, even when grief is present.

Coping Strategies That Actually Help

Instead of pushing yourself through the holidays with rigid expectations, try building flexibility into your plans. Creating both a Plan A and a Plan B reduces pressure and allows you to respond to your needs in the moment.

You may decide to simplify traditions, reshape them, pause them temporarily, or skip them altogether. There is no single right way to navigate the holidays while grieving. Some people find comfort in familiar routines, while others benefit from starting fresh.

Prioritize self-care during this season. Rest when you can, eat nourishing meals, spend time outdoors, and give your emotions room to surface. Step away from gatherings if you need space, and release any obligation to justify your choices.

Honoring and Remembering Your Loved One

Making room to honor your loved one can support healing. This doesn’t require staying stuck in sadness, but it does allow you to acknowledge their ongoing presence in your life. Continuing bonds play an important role in grief.

You might light a candle, share stories, look through photos, or introduce a personal ritual of remembrance. Some families set a place at the table or make a donation in their loved one’s name. These acts allow sorrow and love to exist side by side.

–

Grieving during the holidays is deeply challenging, and you don’t have to face it alone. If coping feels especially difficult this season, our grief therapists can offer compassionate support and guidance. Reach out today.