Anxious About Your Child Going to College? Here's How to Cope

Sending a child off to college marks a time of major transition for the entire family. While your child adjusts to life on campus, you’ll have to adapt to life without your child around the house. Sometimes, the thought of peace and quiet at home sounds inviting, but at other times, you feel anxious about your child starting a new, independent chapter. Furthermore, you might worry about missing your child and adapting to an empty nest.

It’s completely normal to experience anxiety, sadness, and uncertainty as your child prepares to head to college. With time and patience, you can explore where these feelings come from and practice self-compassion as you navigate this shift. Here are a few tips to help you step into this new phase of life for your family.

Understand the Roots of Your Anxiety

Parents feel anxiety when their children leave for college for lots of reasons. You might be worried about your child’s safety on campus or wondering how they’ll fare academically. Additionally, you may be questioning your own identity without having your child at home, or mourning the loss of your daily connection.

Sometimes, these feelings can also reflect deeper fears about aging or maintaining your purpose in the world. Such mixed emotions are natural, and lots of parents share your feelings. Tapping into the roots of your feelings can help you make peace with them.

Embrace Your New Relationship with Your Child

As your child grows up, you can foster a new kind of relationship with them. You don’t need to be so hands-on. Instead, you can enjoy your time together as adults, while your child takes on more responsibilities and gains independence.

Your relationship isn’t ending. It’s blossoming into something new. Over time, your connection will keep evolving. You can stay in touch through regular texts, phone calls, and planned visits, and your child will get to show you their new life.

Honor Your Complex Emotions

It’s okay to grieve the passage of time or feel unsettled in your new routines. Getting used to an empty nest, or simply having one of your children away from home, won’t happen overnight. You can try different pathways for processing your anxiety, like journaling, talking with friends who are in the same stage of life, or even opening up to a therapist.

Focus on What You Can Control

Right now, it might seem like your child doesn’t need you anymore, and that the changes to your relationship are out of your control. But you can still play an important role in your child’s life. From helping them pack for school and set up their dorm room to assembling care packages for them, you can aid your child in feeling more grounded.

Remember, independence is just the next stage of child development. It’s a crucial chapter for your child, yet it doesn’t mean you’re not important to them anymore.

Rediscover Yourself

Your child leaving for college opens up doors for self-discovery. Maybe you pushed certain hobbies or goals to the backseat when you were in a more active chapter of parenting. The empty nest is more than a loss. It’s also a space for personal growth. Now, you can support your child while moving forward with your own pursuits.

You may want to spend more time with your friends, travel frequently, sign up for a class, or get back into old hobbies. The sky’s the limit!

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Are you nervous about your child leaving for college? Working with an anxiety counselor can help you process your feelings while supporting your child. We encourage you to contact our practice to explore our counseling options.